i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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