hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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