we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
