I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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