you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
