I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My ass is underappreciated
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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