Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
