You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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