Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
