people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
