Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize