My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
