Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
