I think my vagina is haunted
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
