It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
