Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize