My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
