she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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