Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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