He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
