Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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