i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
