So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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