so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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