im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
