So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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