I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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