lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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