sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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