I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
