We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
