U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
