We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
