Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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