Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
