8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
