We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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