is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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