she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize