think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize