i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
