Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
