and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
