mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
not ubering you a puppy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize