I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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