Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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