I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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