If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
