in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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