There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
