A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I think I just sharted jello shots
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
