Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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