I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
