Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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