nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
