If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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