these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drunk is not a location!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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