I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
