I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Someone signed my nipple.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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